Praying For More Children While Overwhelmed with the Ones You Have
I remember a time when I was praying for more children while overwhelmed with the 3 I had. I struggled to be the mom I wanted to be to them but still desired more children. Here is a peek into how I was feeling 7 years ago before the Lord blessed us with 3 more children (one of whom has significant extra needs).
Praying For More Children While Being Overwhelmed with the Ones You Have
To all the other overwhelmed moms who are praying for more children – I get it! I understand the feeling of being completely incapable of parenting the children God has blessed you with while praying that He will bless you even more. I understand feeling like you cannot let others see you feeling tired and defeated because you do not want them thinking, “She wants more kids? She cannot even handle the ones she has.” I understand that the same thought you do not want others thinking passes through your mind on a regular basis. I know.
I’m a homeschooling mother to a strong-willed 8-year-old daughter, an emotionally sensitive 4-year-old son, and an 18-month-old son who throws epic tantrums (you know the ones – rolling on the floor, limbs flailing, face bright red from screaming, crawling after you as you try to calmly walk away).
This parenting thing is hard! Sometimes, you can find me in the bathroom trying to hide my tears of guilt after losing my temper yet again, while trying to explain to my daughter that doing school is not optional, as one son begs for me to play with him, and the other is screaming because I will not let him poke his eye out with a pencil.
It’s times like this that the doubt and negative thoughts start. Do I really want more kids? I cannot be patient with three. If we add more kids, I’ll probably start yelling all the time. I don’t know how to do this mommy thing with grace.
But then…
But then…
There are bear hugs, baby kisses, day-time cuddles, and held hands.
There are sincere apologies, whispered secrets, happy songs, and silly stories.
There are moments of laughter, of deep connection, of empathy, and understanding.
There is excitement, fun, adventure, and learning.
There is kindness, respect, patience, and responsibility.
There is generosity, compassion, cooperation, and encouragement.
There is love!
There is my love for each of my children.
There is my husband’s love for them.
There is my children’s love for their dad and me.
There is my love for my husband.
There is my love for my husband as a father to my children.
There is a love of a family who loves God above all else!
I pray for more of this! For more children to share in our love. I pray for the ability to parent gracefully with patience and mercy no matter the number of children that call me Mom. I pray that in my moments of doubt I remember that children are a blessing.
Psalm 127:3-5a “Behold, children are a gift of the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are children of one’s youth. How blessed in the man whose quiver is full of them;”
There is love! Praying for more children!
Now at 40, with over-flowing hands, I find myself praying less for more children and becoming content with the likelihood that my childbearing days are behind me.
I also find myself being less overwhelmed. Babies, toddlers, and kids all still have the same needs that they did then. And now add in arguments over screen time, juggling the parenting of children in all developmental stages (ages 1-15), everything that comes with raising teenagers, and the pressures of being a mom to a special needs child.
The demands of life have only increased but over the years I have learned to rely more on God. I have stopped trying to do it all and I have stopped holding myself to an unrealistic standard. I constantly remind myself that my children are sinners just as I am. I give them more grace as I focus on the grace that my heavenly Father has given me. Yes, parenting is still hard, really hard some days. I still lose my temper and must apologize to my children. But I am quick to remember that I was not made to do this mom thing on my own.
To the Word and Prayer
Reading over this brought back feelings of inadequacy and failure and I praise the Lord that as He answered my prayers for more children He also worked on my sanctification. I have grown closer to Him through all my parenting struggles because those struggles have sent me to the Word and drove me to my knees more than anything else.
Thank you, Lord, for the blessing of my children, for the increase in patience and grace that I have seen in my parenting journey, and for the continued process of sanctification as I train up these children.
Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.”
